Middle aged women going crazy

A disturbing trend I have been noticing for a while among my circle of friends, acquaintances and coworkers is the break-up of a long-term marriage that is initiated by the wife, who then proceeds to cavort about like a teenage girl, quite often ending up with some tattooed scumbag several orders of magnitude lower on the socioeconomic ladder than the ‘good provider’ husband she just left. These divorces are almost always initiated by the woman and usually the husband is shell-shocked and says that he ‘didn’t know what hit him’.

The motivation of these late-blooming slatterns is easy to divine. Women in their early forties can still be fairly attractive if they are well preserved, but in a few short years, they are decisively into grandmother territory. By that point, their sexual appeal will be a distant memory and that can be hard to take. It is a regrettable fact that, sexually speaking, women hit a wall in their late thirties to mid forties that is fairly hard. Men, in contrast, can be desirable well into late middle age if they stay in reasonable shape, dress reasonably well and don’t lose their hair. But understandable or not, the popularity of ‘spiritual adultery’ among married women has serious consequences for our society. 

The obvious victims are the children. Instead of growing up in a stable home, secure in the knowledge that both of their parents will always be there for them, they have to make their own way through the wreckage of a broken home. 

Unfortunately, we as a society so obsessed with victimhood that we ignore other - possibly greater - damage that this sort of thing causes. Let me explain. It is a fact of human society that it is the job of women to select men and not the other way around. This is because men, by nature, are more wanton in their lust. Because women are the choosier sex, the type of men they tend to choose is a powerful normative force that shapes what is considered acceptable male behaviour. When women choose men on the basis of their ability to be a good provider, men will respond by working hard and being responsible. When women prefer the charismatic, bad-boy type, why make the effort to go to school and work hard? Just hang around, be an asshole and pick up the beta-male provider’s loopy wife (as well as his house, because the wife inevitably ends up with the matrimonial home). A lot easier to live the life of a Jersey Shore goon. 

Of late, there has been a lot of hand-wringing about what is wrong with today’s boys, in that, for the first time, girls outnumber boys in university. At the same time, it has also been noted that an alarming portion of young men today choose to be underachievers, content to play video games, drink beer and game women in bars. I think part of the reason women outnumber men in college campuses is because university attendance is too high. This makes a university degree less important and I think men are picking up on this fact better than women. Nevertheless, I also believe the rise of Generation Slacker and the renewed preference of women for charismatic love-em-and-leave-em types like Alex Rodriguez is not unrelated.

If you want to see the negative social consequences of a society where women prefer this sort of sexual partner, look at Africa. There, women do all the work, raise the children and bear all the responsibility. The men hang around, flex their muscles, drink and screw. The result: abject poverty, broken families and a background level of violence that is jacked through the roof. Not good.

Evolutionary psychology teaches us why women desire alpha male thugs. In the hunter-gatherer era where most of our DNA developed, mating with the leader of the pack was the best way a woman could ensure the survival of her children – and her. The further down the pecking order she had to go to find a mate, the worse it was for her in a harsh, unforgiving world.

Our social environment has changed considerably since those days so that such preferences have become a maladaption. In a civilized environment, it is much better for the well being of the woman - and society – if she chooses the conscientious beta male instead, the proverbial ‘good provider’. He would be low down on the pecking order of Genghis Khan’s hordes but is high up in the civilized world. Think Bill Gates and Steve Jobs.

For this reason, civilization has evolved over the centuries to strongly encourage women to select the beta-provider mate and shun the alpha-cad. In the West, Christianity has played a prominent role in this regard, but all advanced societies have independently developed customs and traditions that serve this purpose. If they hadn’t, they would have self-destructed.

Which brings us back to today’s society. In the sixties, the sexual structure of our society broke down as people rejected the traditional family in favour of sexual freedom. While my instincts run libertarian in most things, the freedom to shun the customs and traditions regulating human mating behaviour has huge externalities (to borrow the language of economists). Society restricts our freedom to steal a lollypop from a variety store because exercising this personal choice corrodes the institution of property without which organized society is impossible. Society used to restrict our freedom to commit adultery for the same reason: significant external costs born by everybody when the institution of marriage is broken.

Because it is permissible in the age of feminism to bash men, it remains socially acceptable to frown upon married men who indulge in the universal male desire for cheap, throw-away sex. This is good. Unfortunately, because of feminism, it is not socially acceptable to frown upon married women who exercise their equally primitive desire to fuck alpha males. If our society is to survive in the long-term, this must change.

 

Comments

[Nicola T.]

It all started with reliable contraceptives and then the Playboy attitude that faithful family men were suckers.

Now it seems we have all turned into the character in Woody Allen's Manhatten where people can't think further ahead than a week. And the women have the emotional stability of Fitzgerald's mate Zelda.

[bverwey]

Good read, thanks

bverwey

[JohnT]

Not sure what you mean by 'spiritual adultery.'
What you describe sounds like that and much more to me.

It's very politically incorrect but correct nonetheless, I believe,
to say that feminism has been one of the most destructive and disruptive social forces the world has ever known.

When the death of western civilization is chronicled
feminism will surely be identified as one of the key causes.

[jens hansen]

this email must be written by a frustrated man - and hey women can be sexually attractive well into their sixties and seventies