How Rob Ford Can Win the Next Election in Toronto

The Toronto Star is breathless in their excitment because Police Chief Bill Blair says that there is a video of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford doing...something. The sharks are circling, smelling blood in the water, but Rob Ford could climb out from under all of this slime with one statement to the press, followed by a lot of honest hard work. What follows is my proposal for a press statement, but keep in mind, I wrote this, not Rob Ford. I have no idea what his habits are or what he's thinking. Here's what I believe he should stand up and say to Toronto:

Folks, I have an addiction problem. It's alcohol. While under the influence of alcohol, I have had black out periods, which some people have used to manipulate and incriminate me in hopes of blackmailing me or selling the story to the media for substantial profit. It saddens me that some of these individuals are young men who initially reached out to me for help.

Many cultures are aware of the dangers of alcohol, and I must admit that I have been blind to the damage it has done to me while I was in denial about my addiction. I have joined Alcoholics Anonymous, and I will attend meetings. Obviously I can't invite the press to these meetings to protect the identity of other members. I will, however, ask AA to designate a representative to keep the media informed about my progress.

I've read that the eigth step of this journay will be to apologize to those I have wronged, and while I have a long way to go before I can reach that eighth step, I would like to take a moment apologize to my family for the times I have not been home while out drinking, and to my staff for the extra work and stress I have caused them. They have all been very supportive.

I will be returning to City Hall on Monday morning because I feel the best way I can fight this addiction is to work, and I especially look forward to the rewarding work of continuing to reduce the taxes paid by the citizens of Toronto.

I would ask the media to not hunt around my backyard or ambush me in my driveway in the future. My home is my refuge from the stress of work, and I need that peace more than ever as I come to terms with this affliction.

This will be a long and difficult road, but I with the support of my friends and family and the good citizens of Toronto, I know I can beat this addiction, and together we can do great things for Toronto.

End statement.

Please note so I don't get sued: I made this statement up. I have no idea how much Rob Ford actually drinks or whether he is an alcoholic.

This statement would, however, answer a lot of questions for voters and would put Rob Ford in a positive light, as a hero struggling with an addiction, one who has suffered unprecedented scrutiny and stress as mayor of Toronto at the hands of the Toronto Star and the CBC. And here's the best part: if he's not an alcoholic, swearing off drinking will be easy. If he is an alcoholic, joining AA will extend his life and make him a happier, healthier person.

Is this a cynical Machiavellian political move? It depends upon how much Ford drinks. Since the Star likes to carefully document every time he appears tipsy at a city event, it certainly wouldn't surprise anyone if he announced that he had a drinking problem.

Of course the sharks at the Star and CBC will still circle, but any further attacks will make them look like intolerant bullies. Left wing councillors who don't offer their support for his efforts at reform will be percieved as mean spirited. In one press statement, all of Rob Ford's opponents in the media and on council will be utterly gutted.

But of course the hard work is that Rob Ford would have to follow through, join AA whether he thinks he's an alcoholic or not, and stay dry. The press conference will be the easiest part.

Mike Downtown

Comments

[don morris]

Pretty good statement you wrote for Ford,let's see if has the sense to use it or something similar.

Bill Blair is a disgrace to the Police service.The man has made clearly political statements with the knowledge that people will infer the police have "the goods" on Ford,when they have nothing of the sort.

Blair,like most members of the CACoP, is a politician, not a cop any more.

[Fred]

Don't you have any standard? Why would any conservative nwho believes in law and order support Rob Ford?

[WiseGuy]

This is not a bad idea. Certainly better than rolling over for his enemies. Especially Chief Blair, who may be angling for a run at the Mayor's job.

[DPT]

@Fred - lesser of many evils? Don't vote is the stupidest of many options.

[Nicola Timmerman]

This so reminds me of how the unions and the media ganged up on Larry O'Brien, the former mayor of Ottawa who had a conservative agenda. He spent most of his time embroiled in a court case with trumped up charges. Because of the majority of leftist council members and the time consuming trial, he was unable to implement his reformist ideas and eventually was not reelected because people were tired of the whole story.
Leftists never accept that a conservative is elected (see Harper with his majority) and work to undermine conservative candidates by any means. This is insidious as who in their right mind would run for office as a conservative these days?

[Alberta Dude]

Why do we expect so little of our politicians? Ford should step aside get himselff cleaned up then run again. Detoxifying and drying out while he is mayor will significantly distract him from his duties. We all need Toronto to be successful.. Cities are the major drivers of our economy.

[Philipq]

Actually this is very poorly written statement. Speaking from experience is Rob Ford released this, AA would have nothing to do with him. I can't even begin to explain to you the errors in this one single paragraph

"I've read that the eigth step of this journay will be to apologize to those I have wronged, and while I have a long way to go before I can reach that eighth step, I would like to take a moment apologize to my family for the times I have not been home while out drinking, and to my staff for the extra work and stress I have caused them. They have all been very supportive."

If you are going to write a line of believable bullshit, you should maybe research the AA process first.

[MIke Downtown]

@Philipq Perhaps wikipedia got it wrong. I draw your attention to the wikipedia entry for the 12 steps:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Twelve_Steps

Which are not to be confused with the twelve traditions.

As for the apology part of AA, a relative who struggled with alcohol joined AA and surprised me one day by calling to apologize for the damage he had done to me and my family. He stated it was one of the twelve steps to sobriety.

My respect for AA comes from the fact that he has been sober for 6 years now.

I read the wiki entries on AA and I know it's not for everyone, but I thank the organization for saving my relative (and he's a friend again too)

[MIke Downtown]

@Fred. I understand your concern, but I do have strong law and order standards: a person is not guilty of anything until they have been charged and convicted by a jury of their peers. Everything else is speculation.

I also understand that the circumstantial evidence certainly suggests pot use. An "crack expert" on Salon.com last May stated Rob Ford's weight alone makes it unlikely that he is a crack user. Ever heard the expression cocaine thin?

So Rob Ford may have been doing what Justin Trudeau has admitted to doing (pot smoking) and wants to legalize.

I've found the hypocrisy on the left amusing. Trudeau is progressive for having admittedly used marijuana, and Ford should resign for being suspected of using marijuana.

[Harebell.wordpress.com]

So Rob Ford may have... etc
The operative word is "may" there.
You have no idea what he was smoking, but you are ready to insist it is pot just so you can make an equivalence with Trudeau and call people hypocrites.

This is a poor argument based on nothing but the imagination and wishful thinking.

If Ford is an addict of any sort then he shouldn't be running a major city, he should be getting treatment and the stress of his job will not help with that.

[Philipq]

to MIke Downtown

I am speaking from personal knowledge of the AA process, not going to go into details about that (if you under stood AA you would know why)

The 8 step process is a very long, arduous, difficult and soul searching process. It is not just releasing a presser and using as a political prop.

If ford did anything like what was stated above, AA would have nothing to do with him.

[Cincinnatus]

Dear Harebell:

By that logic, the other choice in the 2010 mayoral contest - George Smitherman - was a no-go either, as he confessed to a 5-year addiction to what he variously called a "party drug" and a "stimulant". In the recent brou-ha-ha over his temporarily missing husband, he issued a curiously worded statement that hinted that these problems might not possibly be entirely behind him.

Taking your logic further still, I guess it was a shame that Great Britain was under the command of somebody who consumed a mint of whiskey a day during World War II. Too bad England didn't have a squeaky clean boy scout like Dalton McGuinty as its head during those critical years.

[WiseGuy]

Cincinnatus, you could also have mentioned the perpetually inebriated founding father of Canada, Sir John A. MacDonald. Sometimes an addiction is just another facet of a great man.

As to whatever Ford was smoking, I was going to suggest that the rest of council take it up, until I realized that many of Ford's enemies have already been smoking it since Woodstock, and it hasn't done them a whit of good.